It’s Not About Power and Control

Whether you are a mother, father, sister, brother, teacher, administrator, or anyone in management, it is important to understand that trying to exert power and control is usually not very effective. Too often I see and hear about people trying to exert their control and power over another individual(s).  Perhaps, they feel that is their purpose. They are “right” and that is all that matters. This attitude, is often welcomed with skepticism and contempt. One certainly can’t influence someone else positively in this manner.

There are so many other, much more important and efficient, ways to influence people.

Here are some ways people can influence people in a positive manner . . . .

– build relationships

– build trust

– understand their perspectives


–  develop an understanding that the majority of people (including children) are good and are trying their best.

– try to ensure you are acting with patience

– work together – teamwork is imperative in making a difference and in having any sort of influence.

– people, children or adults may need support in developing an understanding of the above.

Some may need more support than others.

Some may need their learning broken down into smaller pieces to try to deepen this understanding.

Some may actually require more support than you are able to provide. In this case, it is important to know who you need to contact for additional assistance.

Can you influence people by using the “it’s my way or the highway” attitude? Sure you can.  Is it going to be effective and positive? Nope!  Is it going to get you what you want (especially long-term)?  Absolutely not!

In fact, acting in this way, will actually have the opposite effect.  It is not about Power and Control. It IS about making a positive difference and influencing people in positive ways – both personally and professionally. This is when you will be able to achieve your goals in the present and the future.

How do you try to influence people? Is your personal influence different from your professional influence? If so, how so?

Published by Tia M. Dawson

There are many things that define who I am as a person. First of all, I am a mother of 3 wonderful children! I can not express how fortunate we are to have our children in our life! Secondly, I am an elementary educator who recently returned to the classroom after 12+ years as an elementary school administrator. Lastly, I am passionate about helping others, learning about abuse, helping others in abusive relationships, and helping others understand their worth.

7 thoughts on “It’s Not About Power and Control

  1. Tia – great post! These are the fundamentals in leading with people in mind, and it takes time. The “hammer” approach is quick, and authoritative leadership has its place in limited scenarios, but to build sustainable momentum in a building with staff and students and parents, you need to invest in the time to cultivate the “softer” leadership skills.

    1. Hi Erin,

      I think this is the fundamentals of living with people in mind. It does take time. Authoritative parenting, teaching, or leading just does not work, I agree.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  2. Great Post!

    I recently also posted on the importance of relationships in leadership.

    I believe a leader’s greatest influence comes more from relationships than position. You’re right, a leader can get to their desired short-term goal through position and power, but ultimately that approach won’t sustain and move an organization forward in a positive way. Eventually, people do get weary from being pushed around.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    1. Hi Michael,

      I will take a look at your post. Sounds like we are on the same page. I think that many people are already skeptical of administration, so, for many, the weariness you mentioned does not take too long to surface.

      I agree whole-heatedly with you about the relationship piece. This approach should also be taken by all teachers as well. Similarly to administrators leading, it is only when teachers develop strong, trusting relationships with their students that the strident will learn to their potential.

      Thank you for your comments. I look forward to read your blog and none ting with you again,

  3. Exceptional post and thoughts. I agree 100 %, but unfortunately politics allow for some who have no biz in leadership roles are given it literally, no?

    1. Bill,

      Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, while I do believe there may be some people who take on leadership roles who are not quite suited for the position, I do believe that the majority of leaders are great! it’s really like that in most professions, I think.

      Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment!


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